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Noah Kahan was upset by the idea of disappointing fans after his Grammys loss.
During an appearance on the April 6 episode of the On Purpose podcast, the "Great Divide" singer-songwriter explained to host Jay Shetty that he was feeling the pressure to succeed when he was nominated for Best New Artist at the 2024 Grammy Awards.
However, when the win ultimately went to Victoria Monét, who he was "obviously happy" for, Kahan was left feeling purposeless and "like the kid in the cafeteria that didn't have anyone to sit with," per People. He was feeling disconnected and "isolated" from the other attendees due to a combination of the "creative insecurity" he was feeling after the success of this 2022 album Stick Season and "not having the confidence to engage with this new experience."
"I had built this thing up to be so f---ing important to me. And so it kind of made me feel like I had no purpose in the room," he said. "I felt like my purpose was no longer needed, and that was no one's fault, and it was on me for putting all this stock into this award. But I didn't feel cool, and then I lost... I was so sad."
That feeling lingered as he met up with family and friends after the loss, making him feel like he disappointed not just his fans but his loved ones.
"[It] really made me feel like I was on an island and that I had let everybody down in my life. I feel like I let me fans down. 'I wanted this so bad, I'm sorry guys,'" he said. "I know that's not the case, but this time, I feel like I've gone through so much since then."
As he enters into a new era for his upcoming album The Great Divide, out April 24, Kahan has a new perspective on success and is "more comfortable" in his craft.
"I feel like I've gone through so much since then, and re-evaluating what I care about and realizing that what I care about most is the story that I can tell with my music and the music that I can make and that no one can take it away from me," he said. "No one can vote on it and no one else can have it."
On Purpose with Jay Shetty has a focus on mental health and aims to help listeners feel understood in the challenges and hurdles they face in life. The podcast has new episodes each week and often features special guests to "uncover a side of them we've never seen before." Follow along with On Purpose or catch up on past episodes at iHeart.com.